I know there’s red tape everywhere but why does insurance have to cause delays that affect my gut? Shouldn’t they be proactive about new preauthorizations instead of reactive, especially when they changed the paperwork & not my doctor? Just my thoughts as I sit here hoping that my daily fevers will go away & that Entivyo works it’s usual magic in my gut.
As I sit here in Texas Oncology listening to the conversations going on around me I have decided that I am selfish.
I hear one little boy is asking his grandpa for cartoons on tv instead of the morning news.
An older lady is telling her adult daughter, who’s leg is bouncing up & down with nervousness, that it’s just one stick & then it will be ok.
The couple behind me is talking about what the next step is because the chemo treatments may not be working.
I feel down right selfish right now. I was so upset that my infusion was 3 weeks late which, in the world of bilogic medicine, means that my body can begin to produce antibodies to the medicine & it may stop working. I feel selfish because there are so many people that I see in this room who are just hanging onto life, hoping that their chemo will keep them alive to see another day.
Sometimes, somedays God gives us small reminders that there’s more to life than anything we’ve got going on. Then some days he gives us emotional, heartbreaking pushes to change our hearts & minds. Today was a heartbreaking reminder to care about others & stop thinking of myself.
My gut vs someone’s life are by no means an equal comparison so I prayed for a cure for cancer (long shot, I know, but God is a big and mighty God) & that all those in the room would feel God’s peace wherever they’re at in their fight for life.
I still don’t like the needles & getting stuck several times for one successful IV is not my idea of a good time but Entivyo has been the miracle my colon so desperately needed. In June I will hit the 5 year mark since my diagnosis. Remembering the first three & a half years of prednisone driven life with several unsuccessful medications makes me beyond thankful for the last year & a half of Entivyo bliss!